Adrien had always considered cider a crude drink, flavoured like a highway underpass. The cider was bitter and salty both, like sea air cheering the senses just as it stung them. He had a lot of thinking to do, and thinking was always less daunting with a glass in hand.

Self-loathing was a difficult thing for those who had none of their own to understand. It had its own seasons. It could trick you into thinking it had lifted, only to come cycling around again. You attacked yourself in the same ways you always had. You flung the same accusations. Perhaps you could no more rid yourself of self-loathing than you could rid the world of winter. What was certain was that, like winter, in its wake it left you bare.

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