Art Buchwald Quotes

Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.

We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.

"And Man created the plastic bag and the tin and aluminum can and the cellophane wrapper and the paper plate, and this was good because Man could then take his automobile and buy all his food in one place and He could save that which was good to eat in the refrigerator and throw away that which had no further use. And soon the earth was covered with plastic bags and aluminum cans and paper plates and disposable bottles and there was nowhere to sit down or walk, and Man shook his head and cried: "Look at this Godawful mess.

The irony of our culture is that people are constantly telling other people to go to hell, but no one tells them to go to heaven.

No one has ever questioned the credentials of a critic who writes a rave notice.

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.

the best things in life aren't things

I consider dying a very important part of life. I feel good in the sense that since these people are in pain, and most of them don’t have very long to live, I can make their journey easier.

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even." … For me, being funny is the best revenge.

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the only time we have.

The first hospice was founded in England in 1967 by physician Dame Cicely Saunders.

I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies.

"Hunting Down the Secular Humanists" "...What makes them so dangerous is that Secular Humanists look just like you and me. Some of them could be your best friends without you knowing that they are Humanists. They could come into your house, play with your children, eat your food and even watch football with you on television, and you'd never know they have read Catcher in the Rye, Brave New World, and Huckleberry Finn....
No one is safe until Congress sets up an Anti-Secular Humanism Committee to get at the rot. Witnesses have to be called, and they have to name names."

Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.