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It’s an open letter to toxic lovers and the baggage left over when unloving, unhealthy and uneven relationships end. For Black women, relationships often come at the expense of their own well-being. “We pay with our bodies,” Benbow writes. “Sometimes our lives. And even in that trauma, we still find ways to sow deeper into the love we have for you, hoping it will get better.”

So I am the daily help. Educational, what is my title? My boss is probably gonna listen to me. I am the daily lifestyle education and health writer at the grill, which is a black media news, space. And I so I do that my podcast actually will have a podcast with them. And that will drop soon. And other than that I am as a theologian, the work that I do is I work with churches and nonprofit organizations to really think about bit more critically about issues of gender, equity and faith. And what it means to think much more broadly and much more intentionally about our faith lives and how it intersects with the other work that we need to do in the world to bring about change.

Many women I met during my time in the academy were very good to me. But in the wake of everything I lost, I wanted to reclaim parts of me with some semblance of wholeness before everything was burned in the fire. To do that, I needed to reconnect with people who knew me before I began chasing whatever success I thought I'd find being an acclaimed Womanist scholar. I need the people who knew me when my dreams were big, and my spirit and heart were unbroken.