Charlie Sheen Quotes

Most of the time—and this includes naps—I'm an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air, and I will deploy my ordnance to the ground.

I got magic and I got poetry in my fingertips.

I don't have time for these clowns. I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity. They lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then look at me and they say 'I can't process it'. Well no, and you never will. Stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show.

I'm dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee.

I'm so tired of pretending my life isn't perfect and bitching and just winning every second.

He <nowiki>[</nowiki>Lenny Dykstra] might be Nails, but I'm frickin' bayonets.

"The Goddesses"? I don't believe the term is good enough, but when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best choice available.

I didn't want to have my wife in the movie fucked by Robert Redford. Besides, to show, in the end, that the million dollars didn't mean anything to the guy by having him buy at an auction an elephant, or whatever the fuck it was, for a million bucks? I mean, the millionaire's already fucked your wife, man, keep the fucking cash!

You don't pay prostitutes to come to your house; you pay them to leave.