Chuck Palahniuk Quotes

The whole idea of men creating perfect robot women for their own pleasure, it happens every day. The most "beautiful" women you see in public, none of them are for real. They're just men perpetuating their perverted stereotypes of women. Just the oldest story in the world. There's a penis on every page of Cosmopolitan magazine if you know where to look.

I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.

You know how both life and porno movies end. The only difference is life starts with the orgasm.

"When you think about it from a native plant perspective," Oyster says."Johnny Apple seed was a fucking biological terrorist."

Give me lust, baby.
Flash.
Give me malice.
Flash.
Give me detached existentialist ennui.
Flash.
Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism.
Flash.

Make me into anything, but just love me.

Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950’s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead.

In Hell you'd be foolish to count on people displaying high standards of honesty. The same goes for earth.

If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes.

Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it.

Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.

Centuries ago, sailors on long voyages used to leave a pair of pigs on every deserted island. Or they'd leave a pair of goats. Either way, on any future visit, the island would be a source of meat. These islands, they were pristine. These were home to breeds of birds with no natural predators. Breeds of birds that lived nowhere else on earth. The plants there, without enemies they evolved without thorns or poisons. Without predators and enemies, these islands, they were paradise. The sailors, the next time they visited these islands, the only things still there would be herds of goats or pigs. .... Does this remind you of anything? Maybe the ol' Adam and Eve story? .... You ever wonder when God's coming back with a lot of barbecue sauce?

I say let me never be complete, I say may I never be content,I say deliver me from Swedish furniture, I say deliver me from clever arts, I say deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth,I say you have to give up! I say evolve, and let the chips fall where they may!

Maybe you don't go to hell for the things you do. Maybe you go to hell for the things you don't do. The things you don't finish.

Just for the record, the weather today is bitter with occasional fits of jealous rage.