Ignore mean-spirited people, if all attempts to establish harmony fail. Also ignore people who evaluate you not by your research contributions but by their stereotyped impression of you, whether that be because of your gender, background, or something else. You can’t control what other people think. Science (like other careers) can sometimes bring out people’s less prosocial instincts. When it does, I just focus on my science, and on the mentors, friends, and family members who love and support me. Even if you’re not the most popular person, if your science is true, then I believe what my mother-in-law says: The cream rises to the top.

Be thoughtful, appreciate everyone’s contributions, and organize your life so that you can pursue science. Science is more than a full-time job, and so is raising a family and being part of a community. Get help with the house, logistics, and anything else you can. Try to spend your time doing what matters most to you.

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And finally, have fun. My motto all along has been “work hard, play hard,” although now for me playing hard means spending evenings with my kids. Scientists have the greatest career in the world. We get to decipher humankind’s greatest mysteries, and pursue our own unique, creative visions. There are few things in life more rewarding than that. It’s an absolute privilege to be able to spend your work life innovating and pursuing questions no one has ever known the answer to. Remember that.

Don’t compare yourself to others, and don’t worry too much about what other people think. There is always the temptation to compare your level of success with others’, but that is a trap. You’ll find happiness when you set your own internal standard for what you want to do, and do what you find internally rewarding.

Share everything you can, and don’t be paranoid. If you’re racing to the finish line with other scientists, it’s better for you to support each other and get there together than to hold each other back. Excitement in fields is built by people doing things together, replicating and building off each other.