We shall have sufficient difficulty from abroad without stirring up strife among ourselves and hardness and evil feelings one towards another, etc. … We could govern this generation in one way if not another. If not by the mighty arm of power, we can do it by faith and prayer. If we will try to live uprightly… we should not be driven.
American Mormon leader (1804-1879)
Emma Hale Smith Bidamon (10 July 1804 – 30 April 1879) was an American homesteader and leader in the Latter Day Saint movement, and she was the wife of Joseph Smith. She was among the earliest baptized members of the Church of Christ founded by Joseph Smith, compiled one of the Latter Day Saint movement's first hymnals, was president of the Ladies' Relief Society of Nauvoo, and was a prominent member of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. After Joseph Smith's death, she remarried, to Lewis C. Bidamon.
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I would crave as the richest of heaven's blessings would be wisdom from my Heavenly Father bestowed daily, so that whatever I might do or say, I could not look back at the close of the day with regret, nor neglect the performance of any act that would bring a blessing. I desire the Spirit of God to know and understand myself, that I desire a fruitful, active mind, that I may be able to comprehend the designs of God, when revealed through his servants without doubting. I desire a spirit of discernment, which is one of the promised blessings of the Holy Ghost.
I have many more things I could like to write but have not time and you may be astonished at my bad writing and incoherent manner, but you will pardon all when you reflect how hard it would be for you to write, when your hands were stiffened with hard work, and your heart convulsed with intense anxiety.
I know Mormonism to be the truth; and believe the Church to have been established by divine direction. I have complete faith in it. In writing for your father I frequently wrote day after day, often sitting at the table close by him, he sitting with his face buried in his hat, with the stone in it, and dictating hour after hour with nothing between us.
I shall not attempt to write my feelings altogether, for the situation in which you are, the walls, bars, and bolts, rolling rivers, running streams, rising hills, sinking vallies and spreading prairies that separate us, and the cruel injustice that first cast you into prison and still holds you there, with many other considerations, places my feelings far beyond description. Was it not for conscious innocence, and the direct interposition of divine mercy, I am very sure I never should have been able to have endured the scenes of suffering that I have passed through, since what is called the Militia, came in to Far West, under the ever to be remembered Governor’s notable order; an order fraught with as much wickedness as ignorance and as much ignorance as was ever contained in an article of that length; but I still live and am yet willing to suffer more if it is the will of kind Heaven, that I should for your sake.
No one but God, knows the reflections of my mind and the feelings of my heart when I left our house and home, and allmost all of every thing that we possessed excepting our little Children, and took my journey out of the State of Missouri, leaving you shut up in that lonesome prison. But the recollection is more than human nature ought to bear, and if God does not record our sufferings and avenge our wrongs on them that are guilty, I shall be sadly mistaken.
If there is anything in the world I am, or ever was proud of it is the honor and integrity of my children, but I dare not allow myself to be proud as I believe pride is one of the sins so often reproved in the good book, so I am enjoying the better spirit, and that is to be truly and sincerely thankful and in humility give God the glory, and not try to take any of it myself for it is true that He has led my children in the better way.