James Nicoll Quotes

My father once discovered that one cannot "walk off" gangrene.

The number of times I have been declared dead is statistically insignificant,although admittedly non-zero.

"Gun-wielding recluse gunned down by local police" isn't the epitaph I want. I am hoping for "Witnesses reported the sound up to two hundred kilometers away" or "Last body part finally located".

I believe that I have now experienced the lifetime maximum exposure to bottom spanking in fantasy novels.

Deadly nightshade is the only plant I have ever been able to get to grow for me.

It's bad to wake up and see a large cat in mid-leap from the rough vicinity of the ceiling.

[The cat] and I have an agreement: I leave her alone and don't make sudden moves when I wake up to find her perched on my chest, staring with an unblinking hostile gaze at my face and in return she rarely mutilates me.

Let's step back and think about the likely outcome of a scenario that involves the words "James Nicoll", "a box of sharp needles" and "possibly without ever having achieved full consciousness" for a moment, shall we?

Goodkind is noted for subtle allegories the same way Mt Kilimanjaro is known for floating weightlessly.

Call me an extremist but killing a few hundred million people seems like the sort of method that might have unintended consequences.

It would let me protect the Earth from asteroids. In fact, for a small fee I would protect the Earth on a monthly basis, locating rocks that could be steered into the Earth and then not doing it if the cheque didn't bounce.

[H]umans hate to admit error even as they stand there, black and smoldering, with the stub of a cigarette in one hand, in the middle of a wide crater containing them and the remains of a sign that once read 'DANGER: VOLATILE EXPLOSIVES'

If there's a stack [of novels to review], the unpromising stuff goes at the top and the promising stuff goes at the bottom. That way, I am eager to finish Overwrought Romantic Mary Sue Fantasy because I know that will let me read Niche Product That Only the Author, James and Some Guy at JPL Likes.

Most of my scars are not fire-related and I no longer say "I know what I am doing" at critical moments.

Until recently baby production was largely dependent on slave labour; as soon as women are allowed to answer the question "Would you like to squeeze as many objects the size of a watermelon out of your body as it takes to kill you?" they generally answer "No, thank you." This leads to falling birthrates everywhere women are not kept enslaved and ignorant of the alternatives.