I feel the world is the way it is because we don't talk about ourselves ever. We don't talk about how we feel, we don't talk about how we experience things. And not knowing yourself is when you project your insecurities and your fears and your bullshit onto other people. And so that just kind of creates a whole collective where nobody's aware of themselves, and if you don't have self-awareness then how can we have collective awareness?
American singer and songwriter (born 1996)
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This first video [for "Expectations"] is an exploration of my two extremes: my really naïve, innocent, youthful self, who is very hopeful and blissful in the world, and really believes that everybody has a good heart, and really believes that we can overcome this darkness that we are all surrounded by on a regular basis. And then there's my darker part of myself, who is more violent in her thoughts about the way things should be handled, or more aggressive and demanding and sensual and explorative of self.
This year has been an insane about of exploration, just getting deep down into my own heart; things I've been through, things I've not really talked to myself about. Because I feel like a lot of us kind of float through life, and we get to this point of numbness and we don't really know how we got there, we're not really feeling as much. And that's to say to the good things as much as the bad things. And I noticed that when I lost touch of feeling, I lost my artistry, I lost myself and what I love to do because I couldn't get in touch with that anymore. Because feelings is what fuels it, emotion is what fuels the art. I've been just reconnecting with that, and allowing myself to feel and allowing myself to explore the different ranges in my mind.
I think the numbness is kind of created as a coping mechanism to all of the bombardment that we get in the world we live in right now. We're just constantly asked to be performative, and constantly asked to be present, and happy, and nice, and giving, especially as a woman, so it's just kind of exhausting after a certain point, especially when you're in a monotonous kind of cycle where you don't feel heard, you don't feel like you're expressing yourself, or you don't feel like you have any value to the situation you're in; it's easy to succumb to the numbness.
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Pride to me is a celebration of self. It is a celebration of being fully aware of and proud of your existence. And it's also historically a major monumental moment for the queer community. It was started by a black trans woman. And the movement is still around because we are still looking to feel empowered and still looking for visibility for all of our members.