Max Barry Quotes

“You.” He stares at me for a second, then shakes his head. “You told me the truth.”
I don’t know what to say. “Yeah.”
“Scat,” he says, a pained expression on his face, “haven’t you learned anything?”

“It’s all responsibility and no control,” 6 says. “The classic path to failure.”

mktg case study #13: mktg magazines
GIVE AWAY FREE CRAP (PREFERABLY ADVERTISER-SUPPLIED FREE CRAP). DOESN’T MATTER HOW WORTHLESS OR USELESS IT IS: SALES WILL RISE. STRANGE BUT TRUE.

The whole morning feels very strange until I realize that for the first time in a long while, 6 and I don’t have anything to do. We have the whole weekend to kill: no deadlines, no last-minute struggles, no panic. It almost feels illegal.

“Art and marketing can’t coexist,” Tina says. “It’s either one or the other.”
“Not this again,” 6 says from the sofa.
Tina ignores her. “I made the film for you with the intention of appealing to a bunch of corporate suits. That I used artistic techniques to do it is irrelevant.”
“Just because it’s aimed at a particular market means it’s not art?” I say.
Tina nods once. “Exactly.”
I frown. “What if I take a work of art and market it? It’s still art, right?”
“You can’t take artwork and just tweak it to be more commercially appealing.” She sips at her beer. “Not without destroying its artistic merit.”
“Tina, this is so crap,” 6 says, standing up. “If I showed you a painting but didn’t tell you whether it was created by a starving artist or an agency commissioned to produce it, you couldn’t tell me whether it was art or not.”
“Oh, I think I’d be able to tell,” Tina says.
6 shifts impatiently. “Who cares what the intent was? It’s the result that matters.”
“The intent is not divorceable from the result,” Tina says. “I know you people don’t want to face that, but it’s true.”
“You don’t want to face the fact that marketing is the greatest producer of art on the planet. There’s packaging, copy, TV advertising—can you tell me why that’s not art?”
“If you can’t make that distinction yourself, I won’t be able to explain it to you.”
“Oh, right,” 6 says, “you think some hack’s poems that no one ever reads are more important than movie half the world sees? A lot more people have seen a Coke can than a van Gogh.”
“I’ve noticed you corporate people do this,” Tina says. “Confuse popularity with quality.”
“It’s a democratic society, Tina,” 6 says. “Your opinion of what’s quality is no more valid than mine. Popularity is quality. And so marketers are today’s real artists.”
“Drink, anyone?” I say.

“She’s such a bitch,” Tina says, which I find a little contradictory, but overall quite true. “She’s got to be in charge of everything.”
I sit next to her. “Well, I guess. But in business, that’s leadership.”
Tina stares at me for a second. “I can’t believe you consider that a positive trait. How about her inability to accept other points of view? Is it good leadership to be narrow, too?”
“Focus,” I say. “They call that focus.”
Tina stares at me. “Her paranoia?”
“Business savvy.”
“Compulsive need to have everything just how she wants it?”
“Organizational skills.”
“Aggressiveness?”
“Aggressiveness,” I say, “is already a good thing.”
“Jesus Christ,” Tina says, her eyebrow ring glinting in the morning sun. “Sometimes I worry about this country.”

“Your problem is that reality isn’t good enough for you.” she says levelly. “You need a fantasy.”

I learned pretty early in my career as an agent to be friendly to utter jerks; it’s an essential skill.

mktg case study #9: mktg lies
OCCASIONALLY, JUST OF COURSE, YOUR COMPANY WILL BE CAUGHT IN A LIE. THIS IS NOT GOOD. IF POSSIBLE, IMMEDIATELY FIRE SOMEONE EXPENDABLE AND PUBLICLY APOLOGIZE. IF NOT, YOU MUST STICK TO THE LIE. PERCEPTION IS REALITY.

“Look, how about this: just once, don’t assume every person you meet has a personal vendetta against you.”
6 frowns at her drink. “That’s not a sound strategy.”

mktg case study #8: mktg groceries USE LARGE SPECIAL! TAGS ON GOODS WITHOUT REDUCING THEIR PRICE. PRACTICE THE LINE: “OUR COMPANY FEELS THAT THE WORD SPECIAL IN NO WAY IMPLIES A CONNECTION WITH PRICE.”

mktg case study #6: mktg cigarettes
FOR A PRODUCT THAT KILLS ITS CUSTOMERS, THIS IS PRETTY EASY. FOR ONE THING, YOU ONLY NEED TO CONVINCE PEOPLE TO START BUYING. BUT THE BEST PART IS THAT YOU GET TO DEFEND THE ACT OF SELLING A PRODUCT YOUR CUSTOMERS CAN’T STOP BUYING BY CLAIMING THEY HAVE FREEDOM OF CHOICE. BEFORE EACH MARKETING CAMPAIGN, PRACTICE THE LINE: “IT IS NOT THE POLICY OF OUR COMPANY TO DICTATE THE LIFESTYLE OF OUR CUSTOMERS.”

“Reversing gender stereotypes doesn’t eliminate them,” 6 says, tossing the bacon. “You just create a whole new set of prejudices.”

There’s nothing more fascinating than a girl who won’t have sex with you.

6 says, “Tina’s doing an arts degree.”
“Oh?” I say, as if the eyebrow ring, blond hair with a streak of black and oppressive eye makeup hadn’t tipped me off.
“Oh, let me guess,” Tina says. “He’s a marketer.”
“Hi,” I say.
…“I hope they pay you well for strangling the youth of this country with cultural conformity.”