Nedra Glover Tawwab Quotes

How they treat you is about who they are, not who you are.

Boundaries will set you free. (Introduction)

The most important question you need to answer is What do you want for your life? Bear in mind that what you want might not currently exist in your family.

What you're searching for in others lies within you.

Visit the past, but don't stay there.

It’s okay for a small child to set limits like not eating meat or feeling uncomfortable around certain people. Parents who respect those boundaries make space for their children to feel safe and loved, and they reinforce the positive habit of articulating needs. When parents ignore these preferences, children feel lonely, neglected, and like their needs don’t matter—and they will likely struggle with boundaries as adults.

It’s true that setting boundaries isn’t easy. Paralyzing fear about how someone might respond can easily hold us back. You might play out awkward interactions in your mind and prepare yourself for the worst possible outcome. But trust me: short-term discomfort for a long-term healthy relationship is worth it every time!

Avoidance is a passive-aggressive way of expressing that you are tired of showing up. Hoping the problem will go away feels like the safest option, but avoidance is a fear-based response. Avoiding a discussion of our expectations doesn’t prevent conflict. It prolongs the inevitable task of setting boundaries.

Burnout is a response to unhealthy boundaries.

Discomfort is a part of the process.

We simply can’t have a healthy relationship with another person without communicating what’s acceptable and unacceptable to us.

healthy people appreciate honesty and don’t abandon us if we say no.

People don’t know what you want. It’s your job to make it clear. Clarity saves relationships.