Norman Lindsay Quotes

Whiskers alone are bad enough
Attached to faces coarse and rough
But how much greater their offence is
When stuck on Uncles' countenances

Well, if this ain't enough to dumbfound a codfish.

O, who would be a puddin', A puddin' in a pot,
A puddin' which is stood on A fire which is hot?
O sad indeed the lot
Of puddin's in a pot.

The best love affairs are those we never had.

If I didn’t escape at intervals with straws in my hair and commit a thoroughly idiotic, irresponsible and undignified piece of foolery, such as having a newspaper row with a politician over the banning of Redheap, for instance, I should have no other resource but to take myself seriously as an artist, and perish in a just conviction of ignominy.

They were a bloodthirsty lot, those sentimentalists who wept for the sad lot of the working classes.

"Thank you," said the Mayor, peevishly; " but, on the whole, I prefer to be restored with peeled bananas."

I never indulge sentiment over broken friendships. We have extracted all we need from a friend, and so get rid of him on the same terms as he gets rid of us.

A man’s self-respect is curiously involved with his ability to force a community to disburse certain sums of money for his maintenance and diversion. I have done thirty years of journalism, including jam-labels and inducements to use hair-restorers, and my conscience is undisturbed.

Livingstone Hopkins had an infirmity common to most professional humorists; in himself, he was quite humourless.

Take my advice, don't carry bags,
For bags are just as bad as swags; They're never made to measure.
To see the world, your simple trick
Is but to take a walking-stick— Assume an air of pleasure,
And tell the people near and far
You stroll about because you are A Gentleman of Leisure.

After that they had boiled jam roll and apple dumpling, as the fancy took them, for if you wanted a change of food from the Puddin', all you had to do was to whistle twice and turn the basin round.

Bill was a small man with a large hat, a beard half as large as his hat, and feet half as large as his beard. Sam Sawnoff's feet were sitting down and his body was standing up, because his feet were so short and his body so long that he had to do both together.

"Very well sung, Albert," said Bill encouragingly, "though you're a trifle husky in your undertones, which is no doubt due to the gravy in your innards."

The efforts of all common humanity are directed to one end — to make existence less difficult. To this end those rules of conduct that pass for morality also tend.