Tom Holt Quotes

Query: if I’d had less brains and more money, would I have been happier? Answer: if a circle had four straight sides, wouldn’t it be a square?

The knight raises both eyebrows, like someone by Burne-Jones who's just trodden on something sharp. 'I am Prince Boamund, eldest son of King -'
'Boamund?'
'That's right,' says the knight, 'Boamund, eldest son of -'
'How do you spell that?'
Boamund looks worried. Where he comes from you can take advanced falconry, or you can take spelling; not both. Guess which one he opted for. - c. 1

There is no word for artist in the Mysian language; instead there’s a long-winded periphrasis that translates as man-who-deceives-others-into-giving-food-by-spoiling-bits-of-wood.

Like, there's these new fundamentalist religious fanatics, some name like Meek Militant Action. Their aim's to inherit the Earth, provided nobody objects.' - c. 12

I spy,' said the first mate, 'with my little eye, something beginning with W.

No, no,' said Hildy, 'I dig up ancient things buried in the earth. Things that belonged to people who lived hundreds of years ago. As she said this, she began to feel uncomfortable. She had forgotten about the brooch.</br>'Do you really?' said the King. 'We used to call that grave-robbing.

Be my guest,' Vanderdecker said. You can watch a master liar at work, if you don't mind being an accomplice.

Talking to yourself is a sign of madness. Talking to yourself, dead, is class.'

The fact is, the more you look for something, the likelier you are to find it, even if isn’t actually there; sooner or later, if you look hard enough, you’ll find something. The trick is then to interpret what you’ve found as what you were looking for.

That’s bureaucracy for you. Never follow a straight line when a spiral will get you there eventually.

Boamund scratches his head. Imagine a knight by Alma-Tadema who's somehow managed to fall off the picture and is wondering how to get back in without breaking the glass.

You twist everything," he said.
"Guilty," I said. "Though I prefer to think of it as a form of art.

Here we go, surfing the Net again, something done by humans and very gullible fish.

In fact, as they will be delighted to tell you, Taunton is no longer a one-horse town these days,they have a bicycle as well.

At any given time, ninety-nine-point-nine-five per cent of the human race are a confounded nuisance