Tom Holt Quotes

That's it?' Boamund said.
'Basically, yes,' the hermit replied. 'I've left out Helmut von Moltke and the Peace of Nikolsburg, and maybe I skated over the Benelux customs union a bit, but I think you've got the essentials there. Anything you're not sure about, you can look up in the book.' - c. 1

Boamund scratches his head. Imagine a knight by Alma-Tadema who's somehow managed to fall off the picture and is wondering how to get back in without breaking the glass.

The knight raises both eyebrows, like someone by Burne-Jones who's just trodden on something sharp. 'I am Prince Boamund, eldest son of King -'
'Boamund?'
'That's right,' says the knight, 'Boamund, eldest son of -'
'How do you spell that?'
Boamund looks worried. Where he comes from you can take advanced falconry, or you can take spelling; not both. Guess which one he opted for. - c. 1

How many spectral warriors does it take to change a light-bulb? One, and a stepladder. At a pinch, of course, he could stand on a chair.

Jason squared his shoulders, drew the Sword of - I couldn't give a toss what it's supposed to be called, he said to himself, I shall call it Freckles - and took one step forward.

The best definition of an immortal is someone who hasn't died yet.

In the beginning was the Word. Nobody knows what it actually was, although it would be nice to think that it was 'Sorry.

At any given time, ninety-nine-point-nine-five per cent of the human race are a confounded nuisance

'Doesn't worry me,' Jane replied, I'm an accountant.

Be my guest,' Vanderdecker said. You can watch a master liar at work, if you don't mind being an accomplice.

Nobody took any notice. Even Jan Christian Duysberg had guessed that one back in the 1740s, and he had been thirty-four years old before he realised he was left-handed.

I spy,' said the first mate, 'with my little eye, something beginning with W.

The King rose slowly to his feet and beckoned to the wizard, who had been sitting outside the circle of the firelight, apparently, trying to find a spell that would make a beer-can magically refill itself.

I'm an archaeologist,' said Hildy. 'I dig up the past.'
The King raised an eyebrow. 'You mean you refresh old quarrels and keep alive old grievances? Surely not.

In fact, as they will be delighted to tell you, Taunton is no longer a one-horse town these days,they have a bicycle as well.