To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. - Woody Allen

I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree"— probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.