All his life he had desired to have a little place to himself: now he's got it. - Lennie Lower

For your next bath try a can of tomato soup. It gives you that schoolgirl complexion all over. You wouldn't know what a schoolgirl's complexion looks like all over, perhaps, but you can take my word for it.

I have never yet met a barber who didn't know everything, and such being the case it is only right that he be given his proper social and professional status in the community.I defy anybody to stun a barber with a question he can't answer, be it foreign affairs, skin diseases, horses or hang- overs. Just the same, it seems a pity that barbering should be degraded to the level of the medical and legal professions.

I never did care much for cocktail parties. I'm all the time looking for a place to put the olive-stones. You can't park them under the table like chewing-gum. Cherries are easy; they just go down whole with the drink, toothpick and all.