I'm drinking Jack and I started blacking out. You ever black out? Or as I call it, time travel? You ever do that? Oh yeah! You know how it is -- you'… - Dave Attell
" "I'm drinking Jack and I started blacking out. You ever black out? Or as I call it, time travel? You ever do that? Oh yeah! You know how it is -- you're drinking, you black out. You wake up, you're in another bar. You're drinking, you black out. You wake up, you're playing that knife game with a half-Indian somewhere in North Dakota, "Yeah! Yeah! Winner fixes the tranny! Yeah". You're drinking, you black out. You wake up, you're in White Castle -- working there 3 years, STILL not assistant manager. Your buddies tell you to quit, but you can't 'cause you're banging the slow girl on the fry-o-later. They say she's a little retarded, but those titties ain't retarded!
English
Collect this quote
About Dave Attell
Dave Attell (born January 18, 1965, in Rockville Center, New York) is an American stand-up comedian, actor and writer best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell
Also Known As
Alternative Names:
David Attell
Related quotes. More quotes will automatically load as you scroll down, or you can use the load more buttons.
Additional quotes by Dave Attell
PREMIUM FEATURE
Advanced Search Filters
Filter search results by source, date, and more with our premium search tools.
Ladies, is it really the size of a man's penis that matters? Is it? (some girls cheer) Well, the whores have spoken -- The dirty, God-less whores who crave cock have spoken. Some women say yes, some women say "no, it's how he uses his penis." How he uses it? What is this man doing with his magical penis? Is he building things and fighting terrorism? "A gazebo, how did that get in here?!" "Don't thank me." What if a man doesn't have a penis, but three balls, and one of them lights up and plays a tune? Does he ever get laid?! DO YOU FUCK HIM FOR THE STORY?!
Loading...