It is a gorgeous gold pocket watch, however, I'm proud of it. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. - Woody Allen

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

I was supremely confident my flair for atmosphere and characterization would sparkle alongside the numbing mulch ground out by studio hacks. Certainly the space atop my mantel might be better festooned by a gold statuette than by the plastic dipping bird that now bobbed there ad infinitum.

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?