Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I? - Tucker Max

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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?

Tucker Max

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About Tucker Max

Tucker Tibor Max (born September 27, 1975 in Atlanta, Georgia) is an American author and public speaker. He chronicles his drinking and sexual encounters in the form of short stories on his website TuckerMax.com, which has received millions of visitors since Max launched it as the result of a bet in 2000.

All quotes from Tucker Max Similar Quotes by other Originators

Originators like Tucker Max:

Ron White Maddox David Sedaris Tina Fey Dylan Moran

Additional quotes by Tucker Max

You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.

9:00: I don't know what I want. I just point at the Dollar Menu and say, 'Give me all of that.'

Tucker: Are you married?
Girl: Yes.
Tucker: How good is the marriage?
Girl: Very good.
Tucker: So there is no chance of us hooking up?
Girl: No.
Tucker: Well, do you have any hot friends who aren't fucking prudes? Hey--where are you going? I was only kidding! I respect the sanctity of the monogamous relationship! WHORE!