If you go home with someone and they don't have books, don't fuck them. - John Waters

Hairspray is the only really devious movie I ever made. The musical based on it is now being performed in practically every high school in America — and nobody seems to notice it’s a show with two men singing a love song to each other that also encourages white teen girls to date black guys. Pink Flamingos was preaching to the converted. But Hairspray is a Trojan horse: it snuck into Middle America and never got caught. You can do the same thing.

I could never kill myself. I approve of suicide if you have horrible health. Otherwise it's the ultimate hissy fit.

And no, the hit records of your generation are not better than today’s. As soon as you stop listening to new music, your life is over. You are a fart.