Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: "I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like." I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.

Things ain't what they used to be and probably never was.