You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '6… - Dave Attell

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You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '69." You see a guy with one arm, he's got a story, too. "Snow blower, bottle of whiskey." You see a guy with one tooth, what would the story be? "Well, uh, I like a lot of taffy."

Dave Attell

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About Dave Attell

Dave Attell (born January 18, 1965, in Rockville Center, New York) is an American stand-up comedian, actor and writer best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell

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Alternative Names: David Attell

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Dylan Moran David Sedaris Ron White Robin Williams Mitch Hedberg

Additional quotes by Dave Attell

Some things are the same wherever you go. Like, if it feels like more than two fingers, it's probably a dick.

Sex is not that important; it's the afterward part when you're naked and it's warm. Watching the sun come up through the windshield you look in her good eye and you help strap on her leg and you know: you fucked a pirate.

Ever make fun of someone so much that you feel you should thank them for all the good times you've had? I've got a midget friend, an albino friend, and another friend who thinks "Lord of the Rings" is real. Together we call ourselves "the Unfuckables."

You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '69." You see a guy with one arm, he's got a story, too. "Snow blower, bottle of whiskey." Y… - Dave Attell

About Dave Attell

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