You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '6… - Dave Attell

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You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '69." You see a guy with one arm, he's got a story, too. "Snow blower, bottle of whiskey." You see a guy with one tooth, what would the story be? "Well, uh, I like a lot of taffy."

Dave Attell

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About Dave Attell

Dave Attell (born January 18, 1965, in Rockville Center, New York) is an American stand-up comedian, actor and writer best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell

Also Known As

Alternative Names: David Attell

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Dylan Moran David Sedaris Ron White Robin Williams Mitch Hedberg

Additional quotes by Dave Attell

I'm very romantic when I masturbate. Sometimes I light a candle...then I try and shoot it out. It's like a carnival. Never invite me to a birthday party.

Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.

You gotta make your own fun (Audience member cheers). That's right, listen to that mother of two, she knows what I'm talking about.

You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '69." You see a guy with one arm, he's got a story, too. "Snow blower, bottle of whiskey." Y… - Dave Attell

About Dave Attell

Also Known As

Additional quotes by Dave Attell