the aggregation of marginal gains,” which was the philosophy of searching for a tiny margin of improvement in everything you do. - James Clear

A valuable skill in life is to be larger than the situation.

When you're feeling stressed or rattled, the situation is consuming you. It feels bigger and more important than it needs to be. This is when your emotions are likely to get the best of you.

But when you are larger than the situation, you can mentally "step outside and above it." Yes, there are problems to be solved. Yes, you need to take action. But the chaos is happening externally and you are still in the driver's seat internally. You're in control of the moment, the moment is not in control of you.

When scientists analyze people who appear to have tremendous self-control, it turns out those individuals aren't all that different from those who are struggling. Instead, 'disciplined' people are better at structuring their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower and self-control. In other words, they spend less time in tempting situations. The people with the best self-control are typically the ones who need to use it the least. It's easier to practice self-restraint when you don't have to use it very often.

A simple strategy that will save you so many headaches: don't care about winning trivial arguments.

Did someone say something you don't agree with? Smile, nod, and move on to more important things.

Life is short. Learning to not care about having the last word will save you so much time.