If we really stuck with the classic Greek priorities, a sound mind in a sound body, the only two places we'd ever go is to a library or a gym. - Jerry Seinfeld

The basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we’re doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.

Nobody cares about someone like me, because they don't know the frustration that you feel when you have the solution, but you do not have the problem.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.