And I know many of you are looking for Sarah Palin's new book, it is a bitch to find. Good luck. I found it somewhere between fiction and nonfiction,… - Robin Williams

I do know this one thing. I know there is a cure for whatever bioterrorism that they send at us. I know there's one. And it lies within Keith Richards, I know that. He is the only man on the planet who can go [pantomimes snorting a line of powder] "Anthrax? All riiiiight. Hey. Doesn't go with my E. coli, but fuck." Keith is the only man who can make the Osbornes look fucking Amish. He's insane! I've seen Keith go to a drug dealer and the drug dealer's going, "I'm out, man, I'm sorry. I have nothing left!" Supposedly, he goes to Switzerland and changes his blood, not like one pint, but like a fucking Chevrolet, all of it. I just wanna know, who gets his blood? Some old Swiss man's going "HEIDI! We've gotta go on tour, you bitch! We've gotta pay for Mick's babies! C'mon!" Because I know this: I know that we may all be dead and gone. Keith will still be there with five cockroaches. Keith'll go "You know I smoked your uncle, did you know that? Fucking crazy..."

Cheney shot a man in the face hunting quail. I don't know about East coast quail, but California quail are this fucking big. (indicates a position about a foot above the stage floor)

[Imitating a Frenchman] Fuck all of you! You cultureless, crass Americans! We hate all of you! Fu—the Germans are here! Hello, Americans! I love you!