[Imitating a Frenchman] Fuck all of you! You cultureless, crass Americans! We hate all of you! Fu—the Germans are here! Hello, Americans! I love you! - Robin Williams

You're only given a little spark of madness and if you lose that, you're nothin'.

[About pre-9/11 and post-9/11 airport security] Airport security, remember before all this happened, was like, BEEP, 'Okay, get on the plane. Come on, get on the plane. Hold on one moment. What's that? Oh, that's a gun. Okay, get on the plane!' You could carry a four-inch blade on a plane. That's about that long. What are you doing, West Side Story in the aisle? "Going down the aisle! Crazy aisle!" Now, you can't even carry a nail-clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're gonna go "ALL RIGHT! Gimme the plane or the bitch loses a cuticle! I have a nail file! I can be irritating!"

[About drug testing at the 1998 Winter Olympics] They said that marijuana was a performance-enhancing drug. BZZZT! Marijuana enhances many things: colors, tastes, sensations...but you are certainly not fucking empowered. When you're stoned, you're lucky if you can find your own goddamn FEET!