Is it Paul Mccartney? Is it Jimmy Page? No, it's Noel Gallagher, they look the same age! - Russell Brand

The reason I keep mentioning God is because I believe in God. A lot of people are surprised by that, what with it being 2014 and this being a technologically advanced secular culture. God is primarily regarded as the preserve of thick white people and angry brown people. Since Friedrich Nietzsche (deceased) declared, "God is dead," we’ve been exploring the observation of British writer G. K. Chesterton, who said, "The death of God doesn’t mean man will believe in nothing but that he will believe in anything." I’m a good example of that: at thirteen a believer in Lakeside, at eight a believer in biscuits, at seventeen a devoted wanker, at nineteen a fanatical drug user, before winding up in the monastery of celebrity.

[On chat-up lines]
Well, stick around love, cos I've got worse. The worst being, simply, "Get in the van."

You know, the relationships we 'ave, everything sort of bubbles under the surface. No one ever says what they actually mean, do they? It's all a bit pappy and rubbish.