The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves. - Bessel van der Kolk

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The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves.

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About Bessel van der Kolk

Bessel van der Kolk (born 1943) is a psychiatrist, author, researcher and educator who was born in the Netherlands and is now based in Boston, USA. Since the 1970s his research has been in the area of post-traumatic stress.

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Alternative Names: Bessel A. van der Kolk
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Additional quotes by Bessel van der Kolk

Our increasing use of drugs to treat these conditions doesn’t address the real issues: What are these patients trying to cope with? What are their internal or external resources? How do they calm themselves down? Do they have caring relationships with their bodies, and what do they do to cultivate a physical sense of power, vitality, and relaxation? Do they have dynamic interactions with other people? Who really knows them, loves them, and cares about them? Whom can they count on when they’re scared, when their babies are ill, or when they are sick themselves? Are they members of a community, and do they play vital roles in the lives of the people around them? What specific skills do they need to focus, pay attention, and make choices? Do they have a sense of purpose? What are they good at? How can we help them feel in charge of their lives?

For our physiology to calm down, heal, and grow we need a visceral feeling of safety. No doctor can write a prescription for friendship and love: These are complex and hard-earned capacities. You don't need a history of trauma to feel self-conscious and even panicked at a party with strangers – but trauma can turn the whole world into a gathering of aliens.

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