And me having kids, with my family history? My mom: mentall… - Christopher Titus

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And me having kids, with my family history? My mom: mentally ill, shot and killed her last husband. My father: six ex-wives, four heart attacks. Both of my parents think alcohol is a food group.

Christopher Titus

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About Christopher Titus

Christopher Todd Titus (born October 1 1964) is an American comedian and actor who had a well-received yet short-lived show entitled Titus. See also: Titus (TV series)

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Alternative Names: Christopher Todd Titus

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George Carlin Dave Barry Hunter S. Thompson David Sedaris Stephen Colbert

Additional quotes by Christopher Titus

If you are in here tonight and you have never contemplated suicide…you've never truly been in love. If you're in here tonight and you have never contemplated murder…you've never been divorced.

[on his father's last wishes before dying] "I want to be cremated. Then I want to you to take the ashes, I want you to put them in a douche bottle, find a hooker, and run me through one more time." [groans and disgusted laughs] On my children, I did not write that. I am repeating it.

I don't think a man should EVER hit a woman..... until the 5th time she cracks him in the face.

And me having kids, with my family history? My mom: mentally ill, shot and killed her last husband. My father: six ex-wives, four heart attacks. Both… - Christopher Titus

About Christopher Titus

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