The next thing I know, I'm on the set of the movie Magic Mike. The movie is directed by a director named Steven Soderbergh, who's an amazing, amazing… - Gabriel Iglesias
" "The next thing I know, I'm on the set of the movie Magic Mike. The movie is directed by a director named Steven Soderbergh, who's an amazing, amazing director, he's done a lot of great films. And, of course, Channing Tatum's in the movie. In addition, there's an actor by the name of Matthew McConaughey, who's attached to the movie. [Several audience members cheer] I'm a huge fan of Matthew McConaughey, okay? When I found out that I was gonna work with him, I was so excited, you know? People ask me, "Really, you get star-struck?" Hell yeah! I'm a comedian, not an actor. So, I show up, and, immediately, they send me to the makeup trailer that's outside. So, I go into the makeup trailer, I sit down, they start working on my hair, they start putting makeup on me, and in comes Matthew McConaughey, and he sits down on the chair right next to me. And I start freaking out, "Oh, my God, that's Matthew McConaughey!" [Stutters excitedly] And, now, I decide to introduce myself before I did or said something stupid, right? So, I look over to him, and I say, "Excuse me, Mr. McConaughey? How are you doing? My name's Gabriel Iglesias, I'm going to be playing the role of Tobias, the club DJ, and I just wanted to say Hello, and that it's an honor to work with you." And, in my head, I'm thinking, "I hope he's the same guy. I hope he's the same person in the movies, I hope his voice is the same, I hope his accent's the same." And he turns to me, and he says, [Imitating Matthew McConaughey] "All riiight." [Audience cheers] "How you doin' there, big man? You doin' good?" "I'm doing good." "All riiight." And, I'm spazzing out. [Gives excited gibberish]
English
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About Gabriel Iglesias
Gabriel Jesús Iglesias (born July 15, 1976) is an American actor and comedian.
Also Known As
Native Name:
Gabriel Jesus Iglesias
Alternative Names:
Fluffy
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Additional quotes by Gabriel Iglesias
And then I realized I was being checked out by GUYS! And I know they were checking me out, because they were looking at me like I look at tacos. And I thought to myself, "Oh my god, I can turn on a man! [Grins and struts] Shoot!" And I called my girlfriend, and I said, "Baby, you better not mess this up; I have options!"
Now, if you know for a fact that you are going to go to jail, okay? You're already like, "I'm gone," have a little fun. I don't mean taking off in a high-speed pursuit. No, no, no, don't do that, 'cause you're not going to get very far. I mean, if you're drunk, and you know you're going to go to jail, you know, and you have tinted windows, have a little extra fun. Take off your seatbelt, jump over to the passenger side, throw your seatbelt back on, and just wait for the cop. [Acts like he's just sitting and waiting, giggle] You have no idea how far you're going to throw his ass off, you guys. He's going to come over to the driver's side with a flashlight, and... [Acts like a police officer, using his microphone like a flashlight. Acts like he's confused, looking, then bending over, shining his "flashlight" inside.] You're sitting there...[Looks over, smiling; slurring] "He was here a second ago. [audience laughs] I don't know where he went. 'Xcuse me, what? Me drive? Oh, hell no, I'm fucked up!"
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My favorite people to have fun with are police officers 'cause they're so serious, you know. They gotta be, you know. Check this out. I get pulled over one night coming out of a Krispy Kreme drive-thru. Don't get ahead of me, listen! [Laughs] I made a left turn instead of making a right, but I wasn't paying attention 'cause I had a box, right? I was like "[Gasp] Oh, you're gonna get it when you get home. You've been so bad!" So I went the wrong way, right? [Mimics car engine noise and gestures to turn left.] Sure enough, [Mimics police siren] "OOGGG!" I'm sitting there patiently waiting for the cop but he's taking forever, I said "You know what, to hell with this, he's taking too long!" I grab my box, I put it on my lap, I flipped it open, right? [Licks finger and pretends to touch one of the donuts and screams] Just as I was about to get into my donuts, the cop gets to the window and he says the same thing they all say, "You know why I pulled you over?" I couldn't help it: I looked up at him and I said "'Cause you can smell it!" Oh, he was dying, man! Son of a bitch!
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