Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they're not living in a democratic nation. People stand in line for two houres and they go over t… - David Sedaris

Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they're not living in a democratic nation.

To spend your days in the company of naked men - that was the life for me. 'Turn a bit to the left, Jean-Claude. I long to capture the playful quality of your buttocks.

It's always so satisfying when you can twist someone's hatred into guilt — make her realize that she was wrong, too quick to judge, too unwilling to look beyond her own petty concerns.

I would clear the table and Hugh would do the dishes, neither of us speaking and both of us wondering if this just might be the one to do it. 'I hear you guys broke up over a plastic hand,' people would say, and my rage would renew itself.