Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they're not living in a democratic nation. People stand in line for two houres and they go over t… - David Sedaris

Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they're not living in a democratic nation.

At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.

A week after my drugs ran out, I left my bed to perform at the college, deciding at the last minute to skip both the doughnut toss and the march of the headless plush toys. Instead, I just heated up a skillet of plastic soldiers, poured a milkshake over my head and called it a night.

They're hungry for something they know nothing about, but we, we know all too well that the price of fame is the loss of privacy.