Remember that being offended is not the same thing as being right. - Dave Barry

Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals.

If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably after about four margaritas, to have children. This was inevitable. Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.