To be sure, the dog is loyal. But why, on that account, should we take him as an example? He is loyal to man, not to other dogs. - Karl Kraus

I have to do this, as long as it is at all possible; for if those who are obliged to look after commas had always made sure they were in the right place, then Shanghai would not be burning.

I have often been asked to be fair and view a matter from all sides. I did so, hoping something might improve if I viewed all sides of it. But the result was the same. So I went back to viewing things only from one side, which saves me a lot of work and disappointment. For it is comforting to regard something as bad and be able use one’s prejudice as an excuse.

A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.