but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment. - David Sedaris

"You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?"

"Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before going to bed. The former bishop of Turkey will be coming tonight along with six to eight black men. They might put some candy in your shoes, they might stuff you into a sack and take you to Spain, or they might just pretend to kick you. We don't know for sure, but we want you to be prepared."
This was the reward for living in the Netherlands. As a child you get to hear this story, and as an adult you get to turn around and repeat it.

A young couple strolls by, the adoration of one bouncing off the tolerance of the other.