First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for tru… - Tina Fey

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First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it's the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach's eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Tina Fey

Bossypants · April 5, 2011 Verified in 1 source Sign up to see the complete provenance

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About Tina Fey

Elizabeth Stamantina Fey (born May 18 1970) is a comedian best known for being the first ever female head-writer on Saturday Night Live as well as anchoring Weekend Update.

Biography information from Wikiquote

Also Known As

Birth Name: Elizabeth Stamatina Fey

Alternative Names: Elizabeth Stamatina "Tina" Fey

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David Sedaris Steve Martin J. D. Salinger George Carlin Margaret Cho

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I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.

He could be in something awful and it would never stick to him.

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be Beautif… - Tina Fey

About Tina Fey

Also Known As

Additional quotes by Tina Fey