A black C student can't do shit with his life. A black C student can't be a manager at Burger King. Meanwhile, a white C student just happens to be t… - Chris Rock

White man makes alcohol. Tastes great, I love it, you love it, we all love it. Kills motherfuckers every single day. Okay? Some of y'all ain't even make it home tonight 'cause of alcohol. You'll be like, "Oh man, that Chris Rock sure is funny, oh! Shit!" But it's all right 'cause it's all white. White man makes Cigarettes, the most dangerous product known to man. Cigarettes are so fucking dangerous it kills motherfuckers that don't smoke, okay? That's how fucking dangerous cigarettes are, okay? Yes, first hand smoke, second hand smoke. People talking out of their necks into a machine like, "Hey, what's up, man, I love cigarettes." But it's all right 'cause it's all white. Could you imagine if the Philip Morris family was a bunch of jheri-curled niggas from Mississippi? Do you know how illegal a pack of cigarettes would be? You would get fifty years just for a carton of Newports. Shit. But it's all right, 'cause it's all white.

That shit wasn't about race … that shit was about fame. If O.J. wasn't famous, he'd be in jail right now. If O.J. drove a bus, he wouldn't even be O.J. He'd be Orenthal the Bus Driving Murderer.

You don't need no gun control. You know what you need? We need some bullet control. We need to control the bullets! That's right. I think all bullets should cost $5,000. $5,000 for a bullet. You know why? Because if a bullet costs $5,000, there would be no more innocent bystanders. Every time somebody gets shot, people would be like, "Damn, he must've did something. Shit, they put $50,000 worth of bullets in his ass!" And people would think before they killed somebody if a bullet cost $5,000. "Man, I would blow your fucking head off ... if I could afford it! I'm gonna get me another job, I'm gonna start saving some money, and you're a dead man! You better hope I can't get no bullets on layaway!"