[W]e are opposed to long courtships and long engagements. They are productive of no good, and are not infrequently the occasion of much evil. They ma… - John Harvey Kellogg

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[W]e are opposed to long courtships and long engagements. They are productive of no good, and are not infrequently the occasion of much evil. They may be circumstances which render a prolonged engagement necessary and advisable; but, in general, they are to be avoided On the other hand, hasty marriages are still more to be deprecated, especially when, as is too commonly the case, the probability is so great that passion is the actuating motive far more than true love. Marriage is a matter of most serious consequences, and deserving of the most careful deliberation. Too often matrimony is entered upon wit out any more substantial assurance of happiness as the result than the individual has of securing a valuable prize who buys a ticket in a lottery scheme. In the majority of cases, young people learn more of each other’s real character within six weeks after marriage than they discovered during as many months of courting. To every young man and woman we say, Look well before you leap; consider well, carefully, and prayerfully. A leap in the dark is a fearful risk, and will be far more likely to land you in a domestic purgatory than anywhere else. Do not be dazzled by a handsome face, an agreeable address, a brilliant or piquant manner. Choose, rather, modesty, simplicity, sincerity, morality, qualities of heart and mind, rather than exterior embellishments. “It is folly,” suggests a friend, “to give advice on these subjects, for no one will follow advice on this point, no matter how sensible and reasonable he may be on all other subjects. The emotions carry the individual away, and the reason loses control.” This is all too true, in nearly all cases. We believe in affection. The emotions have their part to act. We have no sympathy with the theories of those who will have all marriages made by rule. But reason must be allowed a voice in the matter; and although there may be a time when the over whelming force of the emotions may force the reason and judgment into the background, there has been a time previous when the judgment might have held control. Let every young man and woman be most scrupulously careful how he allows emotional excitement to gain the ascendency. When once reason is stifled, the individual is in a most precarious situation. It is far better and easier to prevent this danger than to escape from it.

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About John Harvey Kellogg

(February 26, 1852 – December 14, 1943) was an American medical doctor in , who ran a sanitarium using holistic methods, with a particular focus on , s, and exercise. Kellogg was an advocate of vegetarianism for health and is best known for the invention of the known as with his brother, . He led in the establishment of the .

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Alternative Names: John H. Kellogg Corn flakes Battle Creek Sanitarium Kellanova (Kellogg's)
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Additional quotes by John Harvey Kellogg

Precocious Sexuality.-The causes of a too early development of sexual peculiarities, as manifested in infantile flirtations and early signs of sexual passion, were dwelt upon quite fully in a previous connection, and we need not repeat them here. Certain it is that few things can be more dangerous to virtue than the premature development of those sentiments which belong only to puberty and later years. It is a most unnatural, but not uncommon, sight to se a girl of tender age evincing all those characters which mark the wanton of older years. “Men’s Lewdness”- It cannot be denied that men are in the greatest degree responsible for the “social evil.” The general principle holds true here as elsewhere that the supply is regulated by the demand. If the patrons of prostitution should withdraw their support by a sudden acquisition of virtue, how soon would this vilest of traffics cease! The inmates of brothels would themselves become continent, if not virtuous, as the result of such a spasm of chastity in men. Again, the ranks of fallen women, which are rapidly thinned by loathsome diseases and horrid deaths are largely recruited from that class of unfortunates for whose fall faithless lovers or cunning, heartless libertines are chiefly responsible. The weak girl who, through too much trust, has been deceived and robbed of her dearest treasure, is disowned by relatives, shunned by her acquaintances, and turned out upon a cold world without money, without friends, without a character. What can she do ? Respectable employment she cannot find, for rumor follows her. There seems to be but one door open, the one which she herself so unintentionally opened. In despair, she enters the “open road to hell,” and to her first sad error adds a life of shame. Meanwhile the villain who betrayed her still maintains his standing in society, and plies his arts to win another victim. Is there not an unfair discrimination here ? Should not the secured be blackened with an infamy at least as deep as that which society casts on the one betrayed ? Fashion.-The temptation of dress, fine clothing, costly jewelry, and all the extravagances with which rich ladies array themselves, is in many cases too powerful for the weakened virtue of poor seamstresses, operatives, and servant girls, who have seen so much of vice as to have lost that instinctive loathing for it which they may have once experienced. Thinking to gain a life of ease, which means to gratify their love of show, they barter away their peace of mind for this world, all hope for the next, and only gain a little worthless tinsel the scorn of their fellow-creatures, and a host of loathsome diseases.

Are Occasional Emissions Necessary or Harmless?-That an individual may suffer for years an involuntary seminal loss as frequently as once a month without apparently suffering very great injury, seems to be a settled fact with physicians of extensive experience, and is well confirmed by observation ; yet there are those who suffer severely from losses no more frequent than this. But when seminal losses occur more frequently than once a month, they will certainly ultimate in great injury, even though immediate ill effects are not noticed, as in exceptional cases they may not be. If argument is necessary to sustain this position, as it hardly seems to be, we would refer to the fact that seminal losses do not occur in those who are, and always have been, continent both mentally and physically, when such rare individuals can be found. They occur the most rarely in those who the most nearly approach the standard of perfect chastity ; so that whenever they occur, they may be taken as evidence of some form of sexual excess. This fact clearly shows that losses of this kind are not natural.

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Certain circumstances greatly increase the frequency of the emissions, and thus hasten the injury which they are certain to accomplish if not checked; as, neglect to relieve the bladder and bowels at night, late suppers, stimulating food and drinks, and anything that will excite the genital organs. Of all causes, amorous or erotic thoughts are the most powerful. Tea and coffee, spices and other condiments, and animal food have a special tendency in this direction. Certain positions in bed also serve as exciting or predisposing causes; as sleeping upon the back or abdomen. Feather beds and pillows and too warm covering in bed are also injurious for the same reason. In frequency, emissions will vary in different persons from an occasional one at long and irregular intervals to two or three a week, or several—as many as four in one case we have met—in a single night. The immediate effect of an emission will depend somewhat upon the frequency of occurrence and the condition of the individual. If very infrequent, and occurring in a comparatively robust person, after the seminal vesicles have become distended with seminal fluid, the immediate effect of an emission may be a sensation of temporary relief. This circumstance has led certain persons to suppose that emissions are natural and beneficial. This point will receive attention shortly. If the emissions are more frequent, or if they occur in a person of a naturally feeble constitution, the immediate effect is lassitude, languor, indisposition and often inability to perform severe mental or physical labor melancholy, amounting often to despair and even leading to suicide, and an exaggeration of local irritation, and of all the morbid conditions to be noticed under the head of “General Effects.” Headache, indigestion, weakness of the back and knees, disturbed circulation, dimness of vision, and loss of appetite, are only a few of these.

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