The average man is profoundly ignorant of countries that lie remote from his own. - Mark Twain

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.

I know the look of an apple that is roasting and sizzling on the hearth on a winter's evening, and I know the comfort that comes of eating it hot, along with some sugar and a drench of cream... I know how the nuts taken in conjunction with winter apples, cider, and doughnuts, make old people's tales and old jokes sound fresh and crisp and enchanting.