As by the fire of experience, so by commission of crime, you learn real morals. - Mark Twain

It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the parts that I do understand.

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

"Will a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at them — and by laughing at them destroy them? For your race, in its poverty, has unquestionably one really effective weapon — laughter. Power, Money, Persuasion, Supplication, Persecution — these can lift at a colossal humbug, — push it a little — crowd it a little — weaken it a little, century by century: but only Laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of Laughter nothing can stand.

- "The Chronicle of Young Satan," Mysterious Stranger Manuscripts"