In some ways the operation of the feminine stereotype is so obvious and for many women entirely unattainable, that it can be easily reacted against. … - Germaine Greer

It takes a great deal of courage and independence to decide to design your own image instead of the one that society rewards, but it gets easier as you go along.

When the choice lies between the ultra-feminine and the virago,
Shakespeare’s sympathy lies with the virago. The women of the
tragedies are all feminine — even Lady Macbeth (who is so often
misinterpreted as a termagant), especially Gertrude, morally unconscious,
helpless, voluptuous, and her younger version, infantile
Ophelia, the lustful sisters, Goneril and Regan opposed by the warrior
princess Cordelia who refuses to simper and pander to her
father’s irrational desire. Desdemona is fatally feminine, but realizes
it and dies understanding how she has failed Othello. Only Cleopatra
has enough initiative and desire to qualify for the status of female
hero.

I know as little about the nature of romantic love as I knew when I
was eighteen, but I do know about the deep pleasure of continuing
interest, the excitement of wanting to know what somebody else
thinks, will do, will not do, the tricks played and unplayed, the short
cord that the years make into rope, and in my case, is there, hanging
loose, long after death.)
And so he lived with me for the last four years of his life. Not all
of that time was easy, indeed some of it was very bad, but it was an
unspoken pleasure that having come together so many years before,
ruined so much and repaired a little, we had endured. Sometimes I
would resent the understated or seldom stated side of us and,
guessing death wasn’t too far away, I would try for something to
have afterwards. One day I said, ‘We’ve done fine, haven’t we?’
He said, ‘Fine’s too big a word for me. Why don’t we just say
we’ve done better than most people?

Cunt-lapping, mother-fucking, and cock-sucking are words to provoke a sense of outrage. Being forced to play the role of a woman in sexual intercourse is the deepest imaginable humiliation, which is only worsened if the victim finds to his horror that he enjoys it.