Next time you're at the airport, right, this is fun to do. You're at the airport, and you see somebody waiting for their flight, okay. They're sittin… - Dane Cook
" "Next time you're at the airport, right, this is fun to do. You're at the airport, and you see somebody waiting for their flight, okay. They're sitting there, reading the paper, whatever, just chilling out. This is what you're gonna do, just like this. You're gonna walk over to them really slowly. Just walk over, alright, and stand right in from 'em. Don't say anything. Like, wait till they feel you there, know what I mean? When they finally look up at you, just really seriously look at them right in the eyes and go like this, "Don't get on the flight". You know they're sitting there goin', "I don’t think I should get on this fucking flight. I think an angel just told me not to get on this flight. Thank you, angel wearing jeans!"
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About Dane Cook
Dane Jeffrey Cook (born March 18, 1972, in Cambridge, Massachusetts) is an American observational stand-up comedian with dark humor, comedic violence, and excitable, high-energy stage presence.
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Dane Jeffrey Cook
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I've heard on the news that they are thinking of putting microchips inside babies so that if they ever get kidnapped that you can track them on Google. But what if technology fails? Well here is my solution: next to the microchip, put a fucking detonator. Listen, if I can't have my baby, nobody can!!!
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I hope when he dies, he does become a tree. I hope he's in the middle of the wilderness and he's doing his tree thing. Whatever it is trees do. I know they do a lot of work with breezes. And wouldn't it be fantastic if while he was out there just enjoying his treeness, through the woods, a huge sweaty guy with an ax comes long? Sees him...[tree-chopping motions]. Chops him down, smash! Put a chain around him, drag him through the mud and the muck, throw him into a sawmill and grind him up. [Nuzzsaw noise] Then you pound him down into paper, and once he's paper, you print the Bible on him.
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