What's the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculin… - David Sedaris

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What's the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyone in possession of a penis? I'll tell myself that a sandwich is masculine because if left alone for a week or two, it will eventually grow a beard.

David Sedaris

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About David Sedaris

David Raymond Sedaris (born December 26, 1956) is an American humorist, comedian, author, and radio contributor.

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Alternative Names: David Raymond Sedaris

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J. D. Salinger Margaret Atwood John Irving Steve Martin Terry Pratchett

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I was a smart-ass, born and raised. This had been my curse and would continue to be so.

Up close the city constitutes an oppressive series of staircases, but from a distance it inspires fantasies of wealth and power so profound that even our communists are temporarily rendered speechless.

After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of the these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.

What's the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyone in possession of a penis? I'll tell myself tha… - David Sedaris

About David Sedaris

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Additional quotes by David Sedaris