I was so smart when I was a kid that I learnt that I was dumb fast.

Rod...were you born that stupid? Or did you have to study?

I was born wise. Street-wise, people-wise, self-wise. This wisdom was my birthright. I was also born old. And illegitimate. But the two big advantages I had at birth were to have been born wise and to have been born in poverty.

I was always going to be known as the bastard.

Were you born stupid, Heinrich, or did you have to study?

No, I wasn’t very smart, this I knew, but I was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, I was some kind of crazy-loco genius, burro genius. I mean, to have been able to hold on to my Spirit for this long had to mean something.

Baby, I was born this way.

Everyone thinks I'm a smart arse who can solve any bloody problem. [...] I'm not. I'm just a very old businessman and a very experienced businessman who made every mistake in the book and can recognise one when I see one.

I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star … to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius … and a very stable genius at that!

Recognition is the curse I carry with me.

Well, I come from a long, long line of smartasses. Smartass is allergic to dumbass. It’s actually a physical allergy, as in you’re repulsed by dumbasses.

I am, by most measures, pretty smart. My grandmother was smarter. She was do-the-Times-crossword-in-pen smart.

I've always believed that a person is smart. It's people that are stupid.

I’ve always believed that a person is smart. It’s people that are stupid.