What was magical at two in the morning was tawdry and cheap and dangerous to your health at two in the afternoon. - Catherynne M. Valente

I don’t know why you would even bring up the Internet. The xeno-intelligence officer responsible for evaluating your digital communication required invasive emergency therapy after an hour’s exposure. One glance at that thing is the strongest argument possible against the sentience of humanity. I wouldn’t draw attention to it, if I were you.

Stories are pretty dumb animals. And so aggressive!
I clapped my hands. "Say three ways they're dumb!"
"Let's see." Papo counted them off on his fingers. "They're cold-blooded, they use big words when they ought to use small ones, and they have no natural defense against comets."

They are time, and time eats everything but listens to no one.