[describing the aftermath of a singles' party] It looked li… - Jeff Foxworthy

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[describing the aftermath of a singles' party] It looked like "Jonestown: The Morning After"! You're trying to wake up people you've never met before. "Hey, Man With No Pants and a Fireman Helmet On... please get up. I gotta go to work. Alright, lock the door when you leave. I just got a new sofa, I don't want anything to happen to it."1

Jeff Foxworthy

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About Jeff Foxworthy

Jeffrey Marshall "Jeff" Foxworthy (born September 6, 1958) is an American comedian and actor, and a member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

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Birth Name: Jeffrey Marshall Foxworthy

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David Sedaris Dave Barry Ron White Dylan Moran Tina Fey

Additional quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

Women [in bed] are kind of like diesel engines. You know, it may take a little bit to get them going, but once you do, they can run a long, long time. Men, on the other hand, we're more like...bottle rockets. <makes noise of a bottle rocket launching and then exploding> Ooh. Aah. <snores>

[about a clerk, after recounting a story he read in which someone presented a store cashier with a million dollar bill and asked for change]

Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.

[describing the aftermath of a singles' party] It looked like "Jonestown: The Morning After"! You're trying to wake up people you've never met before… - Jeff Foxworthy

About Jeff Foxworthy

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Additional quotes by Jeff Foxworthy