Third, you can increase the positive — whatever is enjoyable or beneficial — by creating, growing, or preserving it. You could breathe more quickly t… - Rick Hanson

Use imagery, which stimulates the right hemisphere of your brain. For example, if I’m with someone who’s getting intense, I might imagine myself as a deeply rooted tree, with the other person’s attitudes and emotions blowing through my leaves and shaking them — but winds always come to an end, and my tree remains standing. Or I’ll imagine that there is a picket fence between us — or, if need be, a glass wall that’s a foot thick. In addition to the benefits that come from the particular images themselves, activating the right hemisphere encourages a sense of the whole that is larger than any part — including that part of your experience which might feel uncomfortable with closeness. Be Mindful of Your Inner World

most of the shaping of your mind remains forever unconscious. This is called implicit memory, and it includes your expectations, models of relationships, emotional tendencies, and general outlook. Implicit memory establishes the interior landscape of your mind — what it feels like to be you — based on the slowly accumulating residues of lived experience.

Connection. Notice when you feel hurt, resentment, envy, loneliness, or inadequacy. Then recall times when you felt cared about — and times when you felt friendly or caring yourself. Rest in love flowing in and flowing out.