Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in those words. - Woody Allen

Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.

Today I saw a red-and-yellow sunset and thought, "How insignificant I am!" Of course, I thought that yesterday, too, and it rained. I was overcome with self-loathing and contemplated suicide again - this time by inhaling next to an insurance salesman.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.