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" "It's in the fight, in the striving, in the mountains unclimbed that fulfillment lies, so if you have nothing to strive for, you have nothing to make you happy. When it comes to "for better" or "for worse," "for better" is often harder on a marriage.
Merle Shain (1935–1989) was a Canadian journalist and author. She worked as a feature writer for the 'Toronto Telegram,' as associate editor of 'Chatelaine' [magazine], and as a columnist for the 'Toronto Sun'. She was a host of the CTV Network program, 'W5', and served for four years as a member of the board of the National Film Board of Canada. Her books include Some men are more perfect than others, (1973), When lovers are friends (1978), Hearts That We Broke Long Ago (1983) and Courage my love (1988).
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People who are loving toward each other set up their marriages so that it is possible for both partners to get what they need from life and so that no one is expected to give up his needs to meet those of his spouse. And when their partner meets one of their needs they accept it as a gift, instead of viewing each unmet one as if it were a betrayal.
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I'm not sure there can be loving without commitment, although commitment takes all kinds and forms, and there can be commitment for the moment as well as commitment for all time. The kind that is essential for loving marriages-- and love affairs, as well-- is a commitment to preserving the essential quality of your partner's soul, adding to them rather than taking away.