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Other useful commands to teach your dog are 'stay,' 'heel,' 'remove your snout from that person's groin,' 'stop humping the Barcalounger,' 'do not ba… - Dave Barry
" "Other useful commands to teach your dog are 'stay,' 'heel,' 'remove your snout from that person's groin,' 'stop humping the Barcalounger,' 'do not bark violently for two hours at inanimate objects such as a flowerpot,' ' do not eat poop,' and 'if you must eat poop, then at least refrain from licking my face afterward'.
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About Dave Barry
David McAlister "Dave" Barry (born July 3, 1947) is a Pulitzer Prize-winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for The Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels.
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Also Known As
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David McAlister Barry
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David Barry
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Additional quotes by Dave Barry
In 1980 the Democrats were pretty much stuck with Jimmy Carter and Walter Mondale, who ran under the slogan "Four More Years?" The Republicans, meanwhile, had a spirited primary campaign season, which came down to a duel between Reagan and George Herbert Walker Norris Wainright Armoire Vestibule Pomegranate Bush IV, who had achieved a distinguished record of public service despite having a voice that sounded like he had just inhaled an entire blimp-load of helium.
“Know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think Dad and Uncle Canaan would’ve loved this.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely. This was their whole business model. Taking money from tourists for complete bullshit.”
Ken laughed. “True.” He looked at Brad. “So you’re saying I was right? My idea? That you said was so stupid?”
“I still think it’s stupid,” said Brad. “But I guess, these days, stupid is what works.”
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