There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life. - Doug Stanhope

Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.

"A national day of prayer"? Does that scare the spine out of anyone? Especially when you consider that it's all those dogshit religions that start these fucking wars to begin with. Ninety percent of every war that's ever been fought is because of some made-up, mind control, completely fictional religion. You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north"? No, it's because you got a silly, placebo religion, 'cause you don't want to admit that you don't fucking know.

If you're gonna have a pro-drug argument, start the argument where it starts: I have the right to do what ever the hell I want to my own body. If it kills me slowly, happy for me, fuck you, "clack clack" [miming a pump-action shotgun] stop me!